Off the Medication

Right now, I am taking St Johns Wort and some Kava. I can tell when I take the Kava, it makes me more alert and less anxious and obsessive, but so far (only a week in) I can't tell if the STW makes a difference.
My perceived mind is: obsessive, anxious, circular, sad, convinced that all the bad things are about to happen right now. I am constantly aware of all the bad things about the world. I don't think I am writing or imagining as effectively as when I was on Wellbutrin. My dreams are colorful, but I can't remember them very well.
The more I think about it, the more I think I must need something like Adderall, like Sarah and I were talking about. Something to help my sluggish frontal lobe make the connections it needs to (or whatever that Shadow Syndromes book said for ADD, or was it autism?) I think that's how the Wellbutrin worked for me. I think that may be what Kava does, too.
I went for an hour's walk, and at first I was obsessive and couldn't stop thinking about my weight, my age, my lack of ability, how I need to exercise but I don't want to. I observed that my brain wouldn't let me enjoy the walk. Half way in, I felt more hopeful, happier, I thought more about David and how he and I could exercise together. I felt more positive. At the end of the walk, I felt fairly happy, and I could put aside my obsessions about weight, animal cruelty, the loss of open land, and my own concerns, a little, anyway.
I think that exercise may be critical to my mental health, but I think being unable to exercise is a common symptom of depression. I would like to find exercise that is as interesting to me as writing my novel is, as intriguing as reading a novel. Boring old repetitive exercise will never do it.